Module 9 : Caring for the Caregiver

Coping with these changes successfully is the key to experiencing a fulfilling and satisfying caregiving experience.

• 91% believe “preserving your health” is a message that should be told to all family caregivers.

• 30% exercise regularly since becoming caregivers, compared with 61% who exercised before becoming caregivers.

• 47% seek prompt medical attention for themselves compared to 70% who did so before becoming caregivers.

• 92% like the idea of caregivers being considered a special group within the population.

• Take responsibility for your personal well-being and getting your own needs met.
• Maintain relationships and activities that have meaning and bring happiness or fulfillment to your life.
• Have regular health care exams, eat a balanced diet, and get enough rest and exercise.
• Watch for signs of depression, and don`t delay seeking professional help if needed.
• Stand up for your rights as a caregiver and a citizen, especially when dealing with public agencies.
• Educate yourself about your loved one`s condition. Information is empowering.

• Manage stress before the situation becomes a crisis.

• Choose to take charge of your life, and don`t allow your loved one`s illness or disability be your central focus.
• Remember to be good to yourself. You`re doing a very difficult job and you deserve to be treated well, and to enjoy moments of pleasure.
• Avoid comparing your caregiving efforts to those of others.
• If you have unrealistic expectations, you are setting yourself up for failure, resentment and guilt, which leads to even more stress.
• Reframe your perception of situations.
• Respond – don`t react.
• Ask for help. Set up a “Job Jar.” An important part of caring for oneself is finding help when you can`t to it yourself, whether it`s in the community, with family, friends or professionals. You may have a hard time asking for help, but you may never get the support you need if you don`t ask for it.
• Don`t wait until you are overwhelmed and exhausted.
• Communicate your needs to family members, friends, and caregiving professionals. Others cannot support you if they don`t know what you need.
• When people offer to help, accept the offer and suggest specific things that they can do.
• Recognize your history and what triggers your stress response. “If you always do what you have always done you will always get what you always got.”
• Realize that there will be ups and downs to caregiving. Repressing or denying “negative” feelings can cause irritability, depression, as well as physical problems, which will only increase stress.
• Have some fun.
• Prioritize activities according to their importance and available time. Activity does not necessarily mean productivity.
• There`s a difference between caring and doing. Be open to technologies and ideas that promote your loved one`s independence.
• Decide and “Just do it.”
• Practice relaxation techniques, meditate, have a massage, or use other stress-reducing methods to keep stress in check.
• Be willing to accept that sometimes enough is okay.Practice letting go.
• Remind yourself about the high cost of worry and the low return.
• What do you have control over? What can you influence?
• Recognize the harmful effects of perfectionism and take steps to be more flexible.
• You can`t change a person`s illness, but you can control your response to it. You have to accept some things, while letting go of issues out of your own control.
• Take one day at a time and value it as if it were your last.
• Join a caregiver support group.
• Also see: CaregiverStress.com
  How to Care for Yourself While Caring for Others…
  www.caregiverstress.com/

• “It was the only place where I could say how I felt and people would understand.”
• “I learned where to go for help in caring for my loved one.”
• “I realized it was possible to laugh at some of the impossible, crazy things that happened during the day.”
• “I discovered that it was important to have some time for myself to do the things I want to do, and NOT feel guilty.”
• “I learned to stop trying to teach and correct or reason with my loved one. Instead, I learned to accept that the way he saw things was very real to him.”

• Communicate; take the initiative.
• Surround yourself with winners.
• Avoid negative and critical people.
• One negative can eradicate twenty positives!
• Be real and true to yourself.
• Believe that “what goes around comes around.”
• Listen.

redhatsociety.org

The Red Hat Society began as a result of a few women deciding to greet middle age with verve, humor, and elan.

• Lowers serum cortisol levels (a hormone that suppresses the immune system).

• Increases an antibody called Immunoglobulin A, and increases Killer Cell activity – which attack and destroy abnormal cells.

• Increases the heart rate, and respiration becomes more rapid, causing a profound process of air exchange – exhaling of carbon dioxide, with replacement by oxygenated air which, in turn, supplies oxygenated blood to the entire body, including the brain (a very good thing for improving our ability to cope with the challenges of caregiving).

• Exercises large and small muscles, including facial, thoracic, abdominal and pelvic, in particular. This activity creates benefits very similar to those of traditional exercise. This action allows fibers and tissues that make up the muscles to efficiently and effectively access the previously mentioned oxygenated blood, improving the health of those muscles.

Try the following tips for cultivating humor in your life:

• Learn to laugh when facing life`s challenges. Rather than saying, “We`ll laugh about this someday,” look for the humor in the situation, and give yourself permission to laugh now.

• Seek out funny cartoons and articles online or in the daily paper.

• Create a humor file of cartoons, articles, and jokes you hear and jot down. Share them with others.

• Realize that you can`t control the world around you, but can control your inner reality and perceptions. Use positive self-talk.

• Take yourself lightly. Learn to laugh at your situation, and at your mistakes .

• Memorize at least two jokes. Tell them!

• Write yourself a letter, dated today, reminding yourself what you decided to do today about managing your stress and time.
• Address an envelope to yourself.
• Seal the letter in the envelope.
• In 30 days mail it to yourself.
• When you receive it open it, read it and walk the talk!